Ear Infections, Tubes and the Aftermath...

Our 15 yr old son is still recovering from major but very delicate ear surgery. 

Just a bit of history about his ears...

He had his first set of tubes put in at about 9 months of age.  He also had his adenoids removed, hoping that would help with all the drainage.  Those tubes fell out at about 8 months, which I was told it would be between 6 and 9 months.  About 6 months or so later he started having ear infections again, real bad.  His ear drums ruptured and it was decided he needed to have permanent tubes put in.  These actually are meant stay in for 2 years and are sutured to the eardrum.  They were removed at about 2 1/2 yr later (he got sick and couldn't have them removed earlier).  That December his ear drums ruptured twice during that month.  It was very painful and scary because he woke up with blood on his pillow.  It was decided that again he needed to have the permanent tubes put in.  He had these in for many more years.  Later, the doctors (specialists) saw one tube but it didn't appear to be in the eardrum and the other one was gone, must have fallen out.  Usually when the tubes either fall out or are removed the holes left repair themselves.  However, it appeared that instead of the holes healing they became larger and needed to be repaired.

We were sent to the ear surgeon.  He took a look and said that the right ear would be the most difficult because of the location of the hole and that it took up almost the entire eardrum.  He would need to repair his eardrum but didn't give any real details, at that time. The left he felt wouldn't be as difficult even tho' the hole was rather large and had quite abit of scare tissue.  The surgeon asked our son which ear he wanted to do first. He picked the right one.  He had the surgery done on Sept 8th.  They let me look inside his ear so I could understand exactly what they were talking about doing.

The surgery that was to take aprox. 45min to 1hr, two full 2 hours.  The surgeon came out after and explained to me that our son's ear canal was about 1/2 the size it should have been, to explain this... once you get past the cartilage in the ear canal it is bone covered with tissue.  The bone on the top part of the ear canal grew further down than it should have.  So as a result his ear canal was much smaller.  Also, because of this the doctors and surgeon couldn't see all of his ear drum.  It appeared that it was just swollen from all the drainage.  The surgeon explained that he had to drill the bone out inorder to make the canal the size it should be and to be able to repair the eardrum.  Once that was taken care and was able to see further into his ear, it was discovered that the tube that none of the doctors could see was inside his middle ear.  Also, he practically had no eardrum at all left.  The surgeon made him a new eardrum from the membrane that covers the muscle behind his ear.  He seems amazed at how much better he can hear or rather how much he wasn't hearing...

I asked the surgeon if he was expecting the left to be similar with regards to having to drill more bone from inside his left ear canal?  The surgeon said that he is expecting that the left ear canal will be the same and hoping that the eardrum wont be as difficult. 

After his surgery he wanted to go to school so bad, 4 days later, that he actually had a meltdown about it and ended up loosing his learners permit for awhile.  Although we do realize that we could have worse problems than a 15yr old wanting to go to school... to the extent that he wants to have the second surgery done during Christmas break so he doesn't have to miss any more school... boy, what a Christmas holiday.. huh..?

One last thought about tubes in children... his younger sister and brother both had to have tubes but they only had one set.  So you see not all children have to have multiple sets of tubes, it's a small percentage.

About Posts

As I was reading through the posts that I have been working on for sometime now, I thought I should post something about that...

It may seem to those that know us that some of the things that I may post have happened quite awhile ago and thoughts may be led to "Why is she posting about that now?"

I don't get into the office everyday and if I do it's usually not for a long time, all at once. So if I am able to check my email I consider myself lucky, much less being able to work on a post for awhile. Some of these posts may have taken me from several days to a few weeks to complete, ya just never know.

Anyway, thats why... it just gets crazy around here and most of my day is taken up with Jackson, the littlest angel we are able to hold, for now... :)

Pregnancy Worries...

I try to let the doctors worry about all the pregnancy things. They usually do quite a good job of it and letting me know the doom and gloom of things too. Which they don't hold back on. For example, when I was pregnant with Jackson they told me very early, at 4 weeks, that they didn't think I would even be able to carry him, due to my various medical conditions. They did a blood test and then 2 days later I had to go back and repeat it, to see if the count had doubled. They said that if it didn't that the pregnancy probably wouldn't go very far. Well, it didn't double but they sent me down to the high risk specialists anyway. I had to go to 2 different offices, one would deliver by scheduled C-Section (high risk OB surgeons) and the other did highly specialized sonograms and variety of other tests. As the pregnancy progressed, I lost weight with each visit. They would voice concern until we would get in the sonogram room and the measurements were right on. I wasn't concerned because I my thoughts were... if I was a tiny skinny woman I could see concern in weight loss, however I'm not. My blood pressure was fantastic. My blood sugar was under control so well that I was able to come off insulin when I was 34 weeks. I was insulin dependent diabetic before I became pregnant. The doctors thought I would have to increase my insulin. They were amazed how well I did. They took Jackson at 36 weeks because I had a uterine window with our 11 yr old son and with Jackson. They didn't want me to go into labor at all, because my uterus could have ruptured. They also told me that with a uterine window it can rupture anyway as the pregnancy progresses. A uterine window is where the uterine muscle is very thin or gone in a spot and there is only a thin clear membrane covering the spot and holding the uterus together there. The surgeons explained that if the uterus ruptures that they could loose either the baby or mother or both. It's not often that they are able to save both but there is absolutely nothing I can do to keep it from happening if its going to. So... they didn't recommend bed rest, unless I was tired. Didn't have to take it easy, unless I felt like it. I could continue my exercerise routine and whatever else I felt like doing. So I did... I almost hesitate in saying this, however, I took them at their word. That...I didn't have to take it slow or easy. They let me go a few days past when they originally wanted to take him because I had some tests scheduled. I was taking 3 night classes during my last trimester and my finals were scheduled 5 days after I was to have him. I changed brakes on my van (at 5 mo) and on my ex-husbands Tahoe (at 7 mo). I realize it sounds strange but I really do enjoy working on cars and knowing I can. I like to save money where I can as well.
There isn't much that usually slows me down, for long anyway... We have 4 kids that live with us and 4 that live with or near their moms. So, I rarely am able to slow down much. We sure are glad to have the internet and unlimited long distance to be able to keep in touch with them and what's going on in their lives.

Well, the only thing that gets me with this pregnancy is that I am still getting real "GREEN" from time to time and am pretty tired at night. Other than that I feel pretty good.
I did get a call yesterday from the OB's office telling me that all my blood work looks great!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! Well, except the red blood cells were high but I don't think they were that worried cause they are waiting until my next visit to redo the test. Usually if they think something is serious they will have me come in the office as soon as I can get there... they don't hesitate to do that (thats why I really like these high risk OB's). They really watch over their patients.

We and all the kids are hoping the baby will cooperate with the tech next week so we can tell whether we need blue or pink booties... :)

Most the children want it to be a girl, our 16 yr old daughter wants it to be a boy, two of the children want it to be twins and our 15 yr old son said that because most of the children want a girl it will probably be a boy...

Guess, we'll just have to wait and see...

Fall School Band Concert.... GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!

We had a nice night out tonight... We were able to go to our "almost" 14 yr old's (8th grade) band concert. It was so nice to sit there with my sweetheart, his arm around me, relax and enjoy the concert. It was almost like a date. They really have improved since they started playing together in 6th grade. She was so excited when we were able to get seats down near the front, real real close. She was just a bit disappointed that the boys weren't able to go. However, while we were sitting there, there was lots of clapping, yelling and cheering, Christopher leaned over whispering... Jackson wouldn't be able to handle this noise level. That's sooo true, sad, but true...
She kept looking over at us, grinning, and waving. It is so cute to watch her with her friends, realizing that all of our children are growing up and have little lives besides what they share daily with us.
I remember looking at her for the first time, very black long hair (she had a bow in it right after she was born), and olive skin. She was such a beautiful baby. As she got older, her hair grew out blonde with black tips, it looked like I had taken the tips of her hair and dipped them in black ink. So, now she has blonde hair and fair skin ( except during the summer). We have been so proud of her and her choices. One of the decisions she made was to grow her hair out for Locks Of Love. If someone is going to donate hair it has to be at least 12 inches. When we cut her hair, she was able to donate over 14 inches. It was the sweetest thing. We went on the website and saw pictures of children that didn't have hair for a variety of reasons.
She has lots of crafts that she really likes to do. She is so helpful with Jackson (she's gonna be a great momma some day). She enjoys church, Wednesday night church activities, her friends at church and school. Generally, the kids don't like it if we have to miss church meetings.

Oh, and she hates to miss school... man, we could have worse problems... huh..?


Anyway... we are hoping that she will continue with her music in one form or another. She is so talented. She is preparing for an ensemble which is scheduled for mid Nov. She and her cousin are going to preform together. We're sure they will do a great job!!!!!

Being Pregnant and having an Autistic child... worries...

Well, as of Monday (10-16-06) I was 18 weeks pregnant. As the time passes, I am really looking forward to the opportunities that wait ahead. There are lots of things that have been crossing my mind, in between doctor appointments, therapy, school band concerts, church activities and all the other things that run us from here to there, like parenting, how Jackson (our 28 mo. Autistic son) will react on a daily basis, nursing the baby and other such things...

It's already wonderful to have someone to parent with, I mean really parent with. Someone that doesn't just sit on the sidelines while I do everything for the kids, cook, clean, help with homework, and even with discipline to name just a few.

Jackson, 28 mo old son, was diagnosised with Autism and other developmental problems in July of this year. With that in mind, We are concerned how he will react to the new baby. He is wonderful with my sisters little boy and my brothers little girl. They are both under one year. However, they aren't here everyday. I have heard of some autistic children having problems. Yet, I have heard of others that handled it quite well. We are trying to help him, with the help of our therapists, to adjust (working on his social skills) to the idea and reality of having a little baby here all the time.

Another thing I have been concerned about is nursing the baby. It usually takes a good 20 min total for any entire feeding. When a baby is going thru a growth spurt it could be a bit longer. I didn't really have any problems nursing any of the other children. My oldest son nursed until he was approx. 15mo. I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter. I was told early in the pregnancy with her that I should stop nursing, it could make my uterus contract causing me to miscarry. I had also read and heard that he would stop when he was ready and as I got further along in the pregnancy my milk would change thats when they usually stop nursing. So, I didn't worry about it. I nursed her until she was almost 2 yr. The thing is that by then they usually aren't nursing as much for nourishment as they are for comfort. She was only nursing in the morning, just before bed and once in awhile during the day but that dwindled as time passed until she wasn't nursing any longer. I know some mothers go thru a sad time when the nursing is winding down because they will miss it and it means that their baby is growing up but for me looking back I didn't feel that except when my youngest 2 had medical problems that prevented them from nursing for a longer period of time. I wasn't ever able to pump well enough to support them. That was disappointing. I have known mothers that can pump really well. I didn't have any problem producing milk just couldn't pump. I am hoping it will go better with this baby, we'll see...


I am concerned about going to the store with a baby and a toddler that doesn't understand when you call his name or say come back. We have been looking/pricing double strollers (we need one for a special needs child). Someone suggested we look at a stroller that has a seat in the front for a baby and a toddler seat facing backward with a standing ledge. This kind wouldn't ever work for us because if Jackson gets away he keeps running. He thinks that you are playing a game or something.

Sometimes it seems overwhelming... I usually think about things, come up with a plan and handle it/make it work.. whatever it is...
Everyday is so different, there really isn't a way to make a plan and figure out what to do.

Well, enough of the whining for now.. not to say I wont later, I guess...

The older kids are such a big help to us, so understanding. They just jump in and take care of what needs to be done with Jackson or the 11 yr old. Even the 11 yr old is a great help with Jackson (maybe I'll put more on here about him soon, he is an amazing child as well)

I couldn't get thru all this worry, concern, and day to day struggles without my sweetheart... :)

You just never know...

This is something I have been thinking about posting on for sometime, just wasn't sure exactly how to say what I have been feeling on the subject.
My youngest sister and I are very close. We have had a similar situation, being divorced with young children. Given that situation... you never know what the "other" (non-custodial) parent may try to do or be persuaded to do. You never know who may be whispering in their ear. Everything seemed fine with her and her ex. They were talking about the kids and the visitation seemed to be going as well as it can. She still had issues with somethings (that she realized were out of her hands, but they still bugged her). They would talk from time to time about the kids. The conversations were friendly enough. Then out of the blue she received papers that he had filed for a change in custody. This dramatically changed things for her and changed the way I see my situation as well... you just never know. She is a wonderful mother. Those kids couldn't ask for a better mother but thats what happened. It about killed her.

I have been married to more than one once. One of the marriages was EXTREMELY abusive (that doesn't even begin to describe it). He made it clear that he would find a way to make my life "H---"!!! I believe he meant it. He told me he would kill me, how he would do it, what he would do with my body so noone would ever find me or know what happened. He told the children that he would take them if he got the chance and not bring them back. When we go see my family (close to where he lives) I am constantly watching over my shoulder... just in case.... I have forgiven him for the things that he put me through... I thought at some point the memory would go away.. it doesn't.. not ever...
Having the memories isn't necessarily a bad thing.. maybe it makes me more aware of my surroundings...

I have a friend (we really don't talk much anymore) that had one of those night that some talk about where "things just happen". It was with someone she knew but didn't see often. A couple of months later she found out she was pregnant. She knew whose it was but didn't really want him to know. She was so torn. I told her that she should tell him. He deserved to know, even tho it was just one night and that the baby had a right to know his father. She said he wasn't abusive to her in anyway. She just felt that it would be easier to raise this baby on her own, given that they didn't really have a relationship anyway. I believe she did tell him but by the time she did he didn't live near where she did. That made it difficult to stay in touch with her or the baby. She really didn't make any attempts to contact him much. It was a very sad situation. I've been a single parent with more than 1 child and it was very difficult. I believe from the talks she and I have had that she really didn't want him to have contact with her or the baby.
It almost seemed that she'd just been wanting to have a baby, wasn't married, and didn't seem to want to be bothered with being married (her parents were divorced and it was nasty, she didn't want her child to go thru that). So when she found out that she was pregnant, it wasn't a big deal to her whether or not she had a relationship with the baby's father. She had family, friends and she did go to church. She felt that was all the baby needed. I have thought alot about her recently and hope things are going well for her.

I think that sometimes we tend to get comfortable in our own situations and forget that someone from our past could come back in and things could be forever changed....

Being a single parent was difficult in the strangest of ways, there were financial problems, struggles with the kids getting older and thinking they knew more than I did...(which I feel is normal), I was concerned that as the kids were getting older that they would feel that they needed to take care of me (course they think I can do anything..., thats for another post...), school for me and them, daycare costs, support and not having support (financial or otherwise) and the list could go on and on...


I am sooo glad that I don't have those worries, of being a single parent, any more....
others have taken their place but when you have someone to share the worries or problems with the burden is much lighter...

A little about my life...

Well... I haven't posted anything on here til now because I ... oh, just lots of things/ reasons... the main one being that I feel I am wasting time. I have more things I need to be doing than sitting on the Internet whining, complaining, or bragging about whatever happens to be going on in my life for that day. So, as you can tell I haven't been converted so far to the importance of writing on this or any blog.

Just some about me... I was raised in middle Georgia. We had what we called a farm. We had a cow, Molly and yes we did milk her twice a day. She not only required someone to milk her but also someone to sing to her as well. We also had chickens, turkeys, guineas (small grey birds with white spots), sometimes our parents would get a very large number of little chicks to raise for 'frying'. Our parents would get a calf to "fatten up" for the freezer. We had a large family garden. We had 6 children in our family, so it was necessary for us to prepare for winter and such. We were able to have fresh veggies and fruit from our garden. We had fresh eggs and milk everyday. We also made our own butter. Our mom made bread also and that was one of the best things, smellin' the bread baking and when it was ready, to have fresh butter to put on it. We also would go to different farms, orchards or the farmers market to get other fruits and veggies to put up. One of the neatest things was when we would get up real early on a Saturday in July, drive over to the peach orchard, get out of the car and eat as many peaches as we wanted to while we picked them to take home and get ready for freezing. We would take some peaches, slice'em up in a bowl and pour fresh cream over them... it tasted so great!
Our parents would make things then that most people wouldn't touch now ... and we ate it(that's for another post :) ). I guess that's where I get it from. I try to get the kids to eat a variety of foods and be willing to try new things. For example, once when the 3 older kids and I were camping in Florida we took a ferry across the waters, found a little seafood restaurant and had alligator tail. We all just loved it. The kids thought it tasted like chicken... I just laughed!

My mom would stop the car, no matter where we were, if she saw some kinda fruit on the side of the road, hand us gallon jugs with the top cut out but still having the handle, and send us off into the tall grass to gather whatever fruit she spotted so she could make us jams, jellies and preserves.

Times have really changed since we were kids. We would go exploring behind our house back in the woods. We would be gone for hours. Our mom didn't seem to worry about us. One time we found a very old abandoned house which became our club house. It was great fun.

We have family reunions every year. They are so much fun and the kids really look forward to them. One of them is for an entire weekend. Some people camp and some reserve cabins. We usually have big camp fires, roast hotdogs, marshmallows and my mom usually brings raw peanuts to boil. If you haven't ever had boiled peanuts you have really missed out.

Now to my immediate family, I met Christopher (my husband) April 30, 2005 on the Internet. I saw his profile on an LDS single site. I wasn't looking to find a mate, just some friends. I was having a hard time. I couldn't go to school or work outside the home due to the medical conditions of 2 of my children. Sometimes it felt as tho' the walls were close in on me. I had never talked/chatted with people on the Internet that I didn't already know. I thought what harm could it do. We would just be talking. Christopher seemed to be someone that I could talk/chat with. I didn't have my picture on my profile until later because I wasn't looking for anyone "special", just friends and I felt that if I put my pic on it that I might give the wrong impression. I was very specific about only wanting friends.
So anyway, I sent him an email... I was surprised that he responded. I began talking to quite a few people. I started meeting people over the Internet and had many friends (men and women). It was real nice. I started taking online classes which also filled a void. Well, Christopher and I became real good, close friends. As time passed, he became my best friend. We could talk about anything and everything. It was amazing. I started chatting with his (then) 13 yr old daughter. She was so sweet (still is). As our friendship grew it became apparent that we might want to see if there was something to this friendship. He was wanting to relocate anyway and the Atlanta area seemed like it might be good for him. So that's what he did, in Sept of 05. I picked him up from the airport. As we saw each other, walked to the car, were driving to my home and the next few days passed (my brother let him stay at his house), we knew that we wanted to be together... married...
Neither of us had any delusions about how difficult it would be to blend our families but we wanted this...

I started this post a few days ago and now October 6, 2006 is our 1st year anniversary. I am more in love with him now than I was a year ago. I couldn't have ever believed marriage could be like this. We have both been married before and had relationships that didn't work out. In most of the relationships, we knew only a few months into the relationship that it wasn't working. When you're married and realize that, you try ... saying... well, maybe with time it will get better or maybe we just need to get to know each other better...
So, far there hasn't been any surprises for either of us. It's been real nice to know whats been in the past and how each of us expects the future to be....

See... he has 4 children and I have 4 children and now one year later I am expecting, almost 17 wks along, our 1st together... (our surprise little bundle of joy). The kids all want it to be a girl.. we'll see... our 11 yr old wants it to be twins. I have told him that we have had 3 sonograms and they only see one. He says that one could be hiding... He has told his teachers at school and the school nurse this. He has to see the nurse everyday for meds after lunch and for her to check his oxygen first thing in thing in the morning, after arriving at school.

Christopher has been a wonderful blessing in my life and the lives of our children. None of us are perfect, however, this past year has flown by... we have had medical problems with the kids, the kids working on being teenagers, and several stressful events but our relationship is so solid, comfortable, relaxed and amazing...
I don't know what more I could ask for...

Our 14yr old daughter has said that she hasn't ever seen me so happy... well, I haven't been, ever. It's so nice to have someone to co-parent with, that really wants to be a parent and he is a great dad.

I love him more than I can even express with words. I don't know how I would get thru a day without him. I told him the other day, I don't think I could breathe if he weren't here. He and all the children, that we have been blessed with, complete my life...

Thank you, My Sweetest Heart for answering my first email...
I couldn't be happier to be your wife and mother to our 8, almost 9, children...

Happy Anniversary
My hero...