Time passes so fast...

WOW...
I cant believe its been since Oct '06 since I last posted. The past 6 months have really flown by. After the holidays, our 21 year old daughter Dawn came to visit. She was able to stay with us for just over a month. She was here while I was in the hospital having our littlest daughter in Feb '07, Mary Rosetta.
We call her MaryRose. She is named after 2 of her great grandmothers, Mary Magdeline Cevela (Chris' grandmother) and Clara Rosetta Valentinte (my grandmother). She is such a beautiful little angel. I had her by C-section, my 5th section. The doctors wanted to deliver her at 36 wks. I begged for an extra week.
The two youngest boys had to stay in the hospital after I was discharged. If anyone has had to leave the hospital without your baby, you can understand what I mean. I believe its one of the hardest things, walking out of the hospital without your baby. When I had my third child, they had to transport him to a hospital an hour away. I was put in a room away from the maternity wing (they didn't know if he would survive the night). I felt like ... did I really have a baby... what just happened here...
then my next son was born 8 years later, we were all hopeful that everything would be alright. He too ended up on a ventilator and in the NICU for about a week. They were both big babies for being 36 and 37 week babies. So, when we were surprised with little MaryRose's impending arrival, I started asking the doctors if everything looks good and is going well will you consider letting me go to 37 weeks. I was hoping that an extra week would give her more time and maybe just maybe she wouldn't have to be/stay in the NICU. The reason the doctors didnt want me to carry her past 36 wks was due to my having had a uterine window during my 3rd pregnancy and again during my 4th. They were pretty sure that I had developed another one during the pregnancy with MaryRose.
Well, while we were at the hospital where I delivered, she came and went from the room to the special care unit. They felt that her symptoms were periodic enough that we could go home. We were all so excited, she didnt have to stay. I had her on Feb. 26th (Monday), went home on Mar. 2nd (Friday). All that week while we were in the hospital I just felt something wasn't quite right and made sure that the doctors and nurses knew all the family history. However, they felt that she could go home. I put my feelings aside and listen to their experience. Besides, I really wanted her to be able to come home too... I just felt uneasy.
As the weekend progressed, she wasn't acting right. She seemed to have trouble nursing. (I had nursed my other babies, 1st one nursed til he was 15mo old. I was 6mo preg. with my 2nd baby. She nursed til she was almost 2 yrs. My 3rd baby only nursed for @4mo. He had more medical issues we didn't realize at that point; that made it difficult for him to nurse. My 4th baby only nursed for a few months and not well. According to the specialists, his heart condition made it tiring for him to nurse. I had milk, just couldn't pump well. I havent EVER been real successful with the whole pumping thing.
Anyway...By Sunday afternoon MaryRose hadn't had a messy diaper since she left the hospital on Friday and her wet diapers were almost nothing. I was getting real concerned. I had pumped while in the hospital (didnt go real well). I know people that have, and are able to pump like a milk cow (I don't mean anything ugly by that). I have always been amazed by it. They can get an entire bottle and thats after they have just nursed. I'm just not one of those people but I tried. On Monday, Mar. 5th, I called the Ped. office explaining to the nurse what was going on with MaryRose. She spoke with the doctor and told me there was nothing they could do at the office. We needed to take MaryRose to the emergency room. So, that's where we headed. We were there all day (boy, was that an experience) I'll post about that some time. By that evening, it was decided that she was going to be admitted, just for observation. We were so blessed that one of the nurses decided to go with us to the room because on the way she (MaryRose) had major problems again. We stopped in the hallway, the nurse worked on her and we rushed back to the ER. As we rounded the corner, was she was yelling at people to get in the room. After they worked with MaryRose the doctor decided that she had to go to ICU. She was there for a week. They ran lots of tests and it was rather intense at times. The PICU doctor that we saw first wouldn't really listen to our family history, which we thought was important considering that the 2 children just older than her were in the NICU after being born. He said," I chose to go to medical school. You chose to have children." We couldn't believe he said that to us. I tried to explain to him that 2 of the boys have horrible reflux, one had surgery and his response to us was... "Everyone refluxes." (felt like he was blowin us off). They ran so many tests on her and she had lots of tubes and IV's. When they did the spinal tap she was so tired she fell asleep. Finally, GI came in the room. I asked the lady what office she was from. When she told me, I asked if she knew Dr. Patel. She said she did, why? I told her that he saw 2 of our boys and if she told him their names he would know who I am. It was about 30 min's later, he walked in our room. He ran some tests and said, I don't know what it is with your kids but she has GI problems too. Jackson's GI problems are malformation as well as having reflux. MaryRose's problem is that her esophagus isn't working properly. It doesn't push "food" into her stomach and cant keep it there. So, her esophagus is washed almost constantly with acid. As soon as he found out what was going on and got her stable, we went home (with monitors).
It was a scary time.
When I really thought about it, I realized that if we hadn't taken her that Monday she would have died that night. I know that sounds dramatic but she didn't go from breathing to not breathing.
She would be breathing and...
then...
just...
slow....
down......
til she stopped...

When you lay a baby down to go to sleep you don't watch them constantly, making sure that they are breathing...
You go get other things done, check on the other kids, get something to eat, take a nap or just veg for a few.
There would have been no way for us to have known that she had stopped breathing.

It's scary to think about....



(I didn't realize that I hadn't posted this at the time it was written and now its June 08, boy time has really flown....) MaryRose is 15mo old now, Pretty Little Girl... :D She has such personality and the faces she makes.... too cute.. :D

Ear Infections, Tubes and the Aftermath...

Our 15 yr old son is still recovering from major but very delicate ear surgery. 

Just a bit of history about his ears...

He had his first set of tubes put in at about 9 months of age.  He also had his adenoids removed, hoping that would help with all the drainage.  Those tubes fell out at about 8 months, which I was told it would be between 6 and 9 months.  About 6 months or so later he started having ear infections again, real bad.  His ear drums ruptured and it was decided he needed to have permanent tubes put in.  These actually are meant stay in for 2 years and are sutured to the eardrum.  They were removed at about 2 1/2 yr later (he got sick and couldn't have them removed earlier).  That December his ear drums ruptured twice during that month.  It was very painful and scary because he woke up with blood on his pillow.  It was decided that again he needed to have the permanent tubes put in.  He had these in for many more years.  Later, the doctors (specialists) saw one tube but it didn't appear to be in the eardrum and the other one was gone, must have fallen out.  Usually when the tubes either fall out or are removed the holes left repair themselves.  However, it appeared that instead of the holes healing they became larger and needed to be repaired.

We were sent to the ear surgeon.  He took a look and said that the right ear would be the most difficult because of the location of the hole and that it took up almost the entire eardrum.  He would need to repair his eardrum but didn't give any real details, at that time. The left he felt wouldn't be as difficult even tho' the hole was rather large and had quite abit of scare tissue.  The surgeon asked our son which ear he wanted to do first. He picked the right one.  He had the surgery done on Sept 8th.  They let me look inside his ear so I could understand exactly what they were talking about doing.

The surgery that was to take aprox. 45min to 1hr, two full 2 hours.  The surgeon came out after and explained to me that our son's ear canal was about 1/2 the size it should have been, to explain this... once you get past the cartilage in the ear canal it is bone covered with tissue.  The bone on the top part of the ear canal grew further down than it should have.  So as a result his ear canal was much smaller.  Also, because of this the doctors and surgeon couldn't see all of his ear drum.  It appeared that it was just swollen from all the drainage.  The surgeon explained that he had to drill the bone out inorder to make the canal the size it should be and to be able to repair the eardrum.  Once that was taken care and was able to see further into his ear, it was discovered that the tube that none of the doctors could see was inside his middle ear.  Also, he practically had no eardrum at all left.  The surgeon made him a new eardrum from the membrane that covers the muscle behind his ear.  He seems amazed at how much better he can hear or rather how much he wasn't hearing...

I asked the surgeon if he was expecting the left to be similar with regards to having to drill more bone from inside his left ear canal?  The surgeon said that he is expecting that the left ear canal will be the same and hoping that the eardrum wont be as difficult. 

After his surgery he wanted to go to school so bad, 4 days later, that he actually had a meltdown about it and ended up loosing his learners permit for awhile.  Although we do realize that we could have worse problems than a 15yr old wanting to go to school... to the extent that he wants to have the second surgery done during Christmas break so he doesn't have to miss any more school... boy, what a Christmas holiday.. huh..?

One last thought about tubes in children... his younger sister and brother both had to have tubes but they only had one set.  So you see not all children have to have multiple sets of tubes, it's a small percentage.

About Posts

As I was reading through the posts that I have been working on for sometime now, I thought I should post something about that...

It may seem to those that know us that some of the things that I may post have happened quite awhile ago and thoughts may be led to "Why is she posting about that now?"

I don't get into the office everyday and if I do it's usually not for a long time, all at once. So if I am able to check my email I consider myself lucky, much less being able to work on a post for awhile. Some of these posts may have taken me from several days to a few weeks to complete, ya just never know.

Anyway, thats why... it just gets crazy around here and most of my day is taken up with Jackson, the littlest angel we are able to hold, for now... :)

Pregnancy Worries...

I try to let the doctors worry about all the pregnancy things. They usually do quite a good job of it and letting me know the doom and gloom of things too. Which they don't hold back on. For example, when I was pregnant with Jackson they told me very early, at 4 weeks, that they didn't think I would even be able to carry him, due to my various medical conditions. They did a blood test and then 2 days later I had to go back and repeat it, to see if the count had doubled. They said that if it didn't that the pregnancy probably wouldn't go very far. Well, it didn't double but they sent me down to the high risk specialists anyway. I had to go to 2 different offices, one would deliver by scheduled C-Section (high risk OB surgeons) and the other did highly specialized sonograms and variety of other tests. As the pregnancy progressed, I lost weight with each visit. They would voice concern until we would get in the sonogram room and the measurements were right on. I wasn't concerned because I my thoughts were... if I was a tiny skinny woman I could see concern in weight loss, however I'm not. My blood pressure was fantastic. My blood sugar was under control so well that I was able to come off insulin when I was 34 weeks. I was insulin dependent diabetic before I became pregnant. The doctors thought I would have to increase my insulin. They were amazed how well I did. They took Jackson at 36 weeks because I had a uterine window with our 11 yr old son and with Jackson. They didn't want me to go into labor at all, because my uterus could have ruptured. They also told me that with a uterine window it can rupture anyway as the pregnancy progresses. A uterine window is where the uterine muscle is very thin or gone in a spot and there is only a thin clear membrane covering the spot and holding the uterus together there. The surgeons explained that if the uterus ruptures that they could loose either the baby or mother or both. It's not often that they are able to save both but there is absolutely nothing I can do to keep it from happening if its going to. So... they didn't recommend bed rest, unless I was tired. Didn't have to take it easy, unless I felt like it. I could continue my exercerise routine and whatever else I felt like doing. So I did... I almost hesitate in saying this, however, I took them at their word. That...I didn't have to take it slow or easy. They let me go a few days past when they originally wanted to take him because I had some tests scheduled. I was taking 3 night classes during my last trimester and my finals were scheduled 5 days after I was to have him. I changed brakes on my van (at 5 mo) and on my ex-husbands Tahoe (at 7 mo). I realize it sounds strange but I really do enjoy working on cars and knowing I can. I like to save money where I can as well.
There isn't much that usually slows me down, for long anyway... We have 4 kids that live with us and 4 that live with or near their moms. So, I rarely am able to slow down much. We sure are glad to have the internet and unlimited long distance to be able to keep in touch with them and what's going on in their lives.

Well, the only thing that gets me with this pregnancy is that I am still getting real "GREEN" from time to time and am pretty tired at night. Other than that I feel pretty good.
I did get a call yesterday from the OB's office telling me that all my blood work looks great!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! Well, except the red blood cells were high but I don't think they were that worried cause they are waiting until my next visit to redo the test. Usually if they think something is serious they will have me come in the office as soon as I can get there... they don't hesitate to do that (thats why I really like these high risk OB's). They really watch over their patients.

We and all the kids are hoping the baby will cooperate with the tech next week so we can tell whether we need blue or pink booties... :)

Most the children want it to be a girl, our 16 yr old daughter wants it to be a boy, two of the children want it to be twins and our 15 yr old son said that because most of the children want a girl it will probably be a boy...

Guess, we'll just have to wait and see...

Fall School Band Concert.... GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!

We had a nice night out tonight... We were able to go to our "almost" 14 yr old's (8th grade) band concert. It was so nice to sit there with my sweetheart, his arm around me, relax and enjoy the concert. It was almost like a date. They really have improved since they started playing together in 6th grade. She was so excited when we were able to get seats down near the front, real real close. She was just a bit disappointed that the boys weren't able to go. However, while we were sitting there, there was lots of clapping, yelling and cheering, Christopher leaned over whispering... Jackson wouldn't be able to handle this noise level. That's sooo true, sad, but true...
She kept looking over at us, grinning, and waving. It is so cute to watch her with her friends, realizing that all of our children are growing up and have little lives besides what they share daily with us.
I remember looking at her for the first time, very black long hair (she had a bow in it right after she was born), and olive skin. She was such a beautiful baby. As she got older, her hair grew out blonde with black tips, it looked like I had taken the tips of her hair and dipped them in black ink. So, now she has blonde hair and fair skin ( except during the summer). We have been so proud of her and her choices. One of the decisions she made was to grow her hair out for Locks Of Love. If someone is going to donate hair it has to be at least 12 inches. When we cut her hair, she was able to donate over 14 inches. It was the sweetest thing. We went on the website and saw pictures of children that didn't have hair for a variety of reasons.
She has lots of crafts that she really likes to do. She is so helpful with Jackson (she's gonna be a great momma some day). She enjoys church, Wednesday night church activities, her friends at church and school. Generally, the kids don't like it if we have to miss church meetings.

Oh, and she hates to miss school... man, we could have worse problems... huh..?


Anyway... we are hoping that she will continue with her music in one form or another. She is so talented. She is preparing for an ensemble which is scheduled for mid Nov. She and her cousin are going to preform together. We're sure they will do a great job!!!!!

Being Pregnant and having an Autistic child... worries...

Well, as of Monday (10-16-06) I was 18 weeks pregnant. As the time passes, I am really looking forward to the opportunities that wait ahead. There are lots of things that have been crossing my mind, in between doctor appointments, therapy, school band concerts, church activities and all the other things that run us from here to there, like parenting, how Jackson (our 28 mo. Autistic son) will react on a daily basis, nursing the baby and other such things...

It's already wonderful to have someone to parent with, I mean really parent with. Someone that doesn't just sit on the sidelines while I do everything for the kids, cook, clean, help with homework, and even with discipline to name just a few.

Jackson, 28 mo old son, was diagnosised with Autism and other developmental problems in July of this year. With that in mind, We are concerned how he will react to the new baby. He is wonderful with my sisters little boy and my brothers little girl. They are both under one year. However, they aren't here everyday. I have heard of some autistic children having problems. Yet, I have heard of others that handled it quite well. We are trying to help him, with the help of our therapists, to adjust (working on his social skills) to the idea and reality of having a little baby here all the time.

Another thing I have been concerned about is nursing the baby. It usually takes a good 20 min total for any entire feeding. When a baby is going thru a growth spurt it could be a bit longer. I didn't really have any problems nursing any of the other children. My oldest son nursed until he was approx. 15mo. I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter. I was told early in the pregnancy with her that I should stop nursing, it could make my uterus contract causing me to miscarry. I had also read and heard that he would stop when he was ready and as I got further along in the pregnancy my milk would change thats when they usually stop nursing. So, I didn't worry about it. I nursed her until she was almost 2 yr. The thing is that by then they usually aren't nursing as much for nourishment as they are for comfort. She was only nursing in the morning, just before bed and once in awhile during the day but that dwindled as time passed until she wasn't nursing any longer. I know some mothers go thru a sad time when the nursing is winding down because they will miss it and it means that their baby is growing up but for me looking back I didn't feel that except when my youngest 2 had medical problems that prevented them from nursing for a longer period of time. I wasn't ever able to pump well enough to support them. That was disappointing. I have known mothers that can pump really well. I didn't have any problem producing milk just couldn't pump. I am hoping it will go better with this baby, we'll see...


I am concerned about going to the store with a baby and a toddler that doesn't understand when you call his name or say come back. We have been looking/pricing double strollers (we need one for a special needs child). Someone suggested we look at a stroller that has a seat in the front for a baby and a toddler seat facing backward with a standing ledge. This kind wouldn't ever work for us because if Jackson gets away he keeps running. He thinks that you are playing a game or something.

Sometimes it seems overwhelming... I usually think about things, come up with a plan and handle it/make it work.. whatever it is...
Everyday is so different, there really isn't a way to make a plan and figure out what to do.

Well, enough of the whining for now.. not to say I wont later, I guess...

The older kids are such a big help to us, so understanding. They just jump in and take care of what needs to be done with Jackson or the 11 yr old. Even the 11 yr old is a great help with Jackson (maybe I'll put more on here about him soon, he is an amazing child as well)

I couldn't get thru all this worry, concern, and day to day struggles without my sweetheart... :)

You just never know...

This is something I have been thinking about posting on for sometime, just wasn't sure exactly how to say what I have been feeling on the subject.
My youngest sister and I are very close. We have had a similar situation, being divorced with young children. Given that situation... you never know what the "other" (non-custodial) parent may try to do or be persuaded to do. You never know who may be whispering in their ear. Everything seemed fine with her and her ex. They were talking about the kids and the visitation seemed to be going as well as it can. She still had issues with somethings (that she realized were out of her hands, but they still bugged her). They would talk from time to time about the kids. The conversations were friendly enough. Then out of the blue she received papers that he had filed for a change in custody. This dramatically changed things for her and changed the way I see my situation as well... you just never know. She is a wonderful mother. Those kids couldn't ask for a better mother but thats what happened. It about killed her.

I have been married to more than one once. One of the marriages was EXTREMELY abusive (that doesn't even begin to describe it). He made it clear that he would find a way to make my life "H---"!!! I believe he meant it. He told me he would kill me, how he would do it, what he would do with my body so noone would ever find me or know what happened. He told the children that he would take them if he got the chance and not bring them back. When we go see my family (close to where he lives) I am constantly watching over my shoulder... just in case.... I have forgiven him for the things that he put me through... I thought at some point the memory would go away.. it doesn't.. not ever...
Having the memories isn't necessarily a bad thing.. maybe it makes me more aware of my surroundings...

I have a friend (we really don't talk much anymore) that had one of those night that some talk about where "things just happen". It was with someone she knew but didn't see often. A couple of months later she found out she was pregnant. She knew whose it was but didn't really want him to know. She was so torn. I told her that she should tell him. He deserved to know, even tho it was just one night and that the baby had a right to know his father. She said he wasn't abusive to her in anyway. She just felt that it would be easier to raise this baby on her own, given that they didn't really have a relationship anyway. I believe she did tell him but by the time she did he didn't live near where she did. That made it difficult to stay in touch with her or the baby. She really didn't make any attempts to contact him much. It was a very sad situation. I've been a single parent with more than 1 child and it was very difficult. I believe from the talks she and I have had that she really didn't want him to have contact with her or the baby.
It almost seemed that she'd just been wanting to have a baby, wasn't married, and didn't seem to want to be bothered with being married (her parents were divorced and it was nasty, she didn't want her child to go thru that). So when she found out that she was pregnant, it wasn't a big deal to her whether or not she had a relationship with the baby's father. She had family, friends and she did go to church. She felt that was all the baby needed. I have thought alot about her recently and hope things are going well for her.

I think that sometimes we tend to get comfortable in our own situations and forget that someone from our past could come back in and things could be forever changed....

Being a single parent was difficult in the strangest of ways, there were financial problems, struggles with the kids getting older and thinking they knew more than I did...(which I feel is normal), I was concerned that as the kids were getting older that they would feel that they needed to take care of me (course they think I can do anything..., thats for another post...), school for me and them, daycare costs, support and not having support (financial or otherwise) and the list could go on and on...


I am sooo glad that I don't have those worries, of being a single parent, any more....
others have taken their place but when you have someone to share the worries or problems with the burden is much lighter...